Led Zeppelin

I'd like to preface this by stating that I have a special opportunity. It is truly one of a kind.

I like music, a lot. My iTunes contains over 5000 hand selected, and lovingly chosen songs. I also have the wonderful luck of understanding music. I know my theory, and understands what it takes to be a "good" band, how tight do they play together, mixing, so on and so forth. So I have a good skill set to evaluate music. Now, despite all of this, there was one band (well, ok, a lot of bands) that I had not gotten yet. I know its a travesty, but I had zero (that is none) Led Zeppelin. I have all the beatles albums, but no LZ. Let me explain why. I was waiting for the right time. I wanted every CD, in its entirety, at a high bit rate. It just took me a while, but I found a good source, and now I have the first four albums (thats I through IV). What does this mean? It means that I have an opportunity to listen to an amazing band with NO predispositions! With a band as famous as Led Zeppelin, everyone knows they're most famous songs, and therefore has a bias towards which songs are "the best". Especially anyone who grew up when they were huge, because then you listened to songs on the radio, and assumed those were the best. 

I will be listening to the songs from start to finish. Here is the real question... What songs will I like best? I am curious to see if my favorite songs line up with those Led Z had the largest commercial success with. This grand experiment will actually be quite useful for myself.

See, I am of the opinion that the RIAA is evil, and more or less is HINDERING music (or in Led Zeppelin's case... Hindenburgering). CD sales are falling, and I am overjoyed. I hope for a day when new indie labels can spring up. However, there is a dissenting point of view that argues that these massive conglomerates who make up the music industry (the Warner Bro's/Sony Music/Virgin/Atlantic...etc) pay the bands tons of money up front. In the end, the band usually makes zero cash, while the label pulls in the $$$$. However, because they can offer up huge cash flows, they let the band "create". At least thats how the counter argument goes. With $2 million in your pocket, all you are supposed to focus on is writing good music. I would argue that all you need is a basement and a couple good mates, maybe an instrument or two. My argument is further strengthened by the fact that high quality recordings are becoming increasingly cheap to set up. The technology is making it easier, and cheeper than ever to make studio sounding recordings literally in your basement. The labels don't have a monopoly on album creation anymore, and therefore band don't NEED them. 

The point is, if the songs that I like do indeed line up with what was a commercial success, it gives a sliver of creditability to the recording industry, that they are out to make music, not money, and don't pick songs or bands based on cash value, but on musical ability. I think thats a crockload of shit, but thats just me. Some would argue pure economics. The band that makes the most money is the "best" band. I'm not quite sold. 

A better story for Led Zeppelin would have been for them to come up from no where, playing in tiny underground clubs in Leeds, only to make it big. This, of course, is not the case. This band was almost put together as a superband by the record labels. Originally, the band was to consist (possibly) of Jimmy Page, The rhythm section of the Who, and Steve Woodwind (at least thats a poorly paraphrased version off of Wikipedia). That superband never did take flight, but the band was defiantly an "industry-in" band. Unlike the Beatles, who (well... at first), were all "local boys".

What scares me about the record industry is the way in which they are very good at "creating" bands. They hand picked the boys for N'sync, and look at the commercial success that they were rewarded with. Had N'sync been some local band somewhere, I doubt they would have ever been signed. Obviously not. None of them can play any instruments, with the slight exception of JT, but even Helen Keller could have learned how to play piano if she would have had the decade that JT had to learn to play something. So the ability of the record industry to get band famous seems like bullshit. This is compounded by the problem that a good manager, and sound technicians and a trillion dollar budget (sadly), can make even a shitty band sound marginally ok. There obviously is a pretty clear line between an OK band and a band of genius, but look at Brittany Spears. Unlike the Backstreet Boys, or N'sync, she can't even sing. Here voice is pretty ~ mostly average. How did a girl like this ever make it big? Well, her CD's actually sound pretty good. Anyone who has listened to Toxic has to admit that it is a pretty good song. What part of it was her and what was the label hiring all the musicians to make the music? I don't know. Its worth thinking about.

I'll be giving this blog a follow up, I'll tell you my favorite Led Zeppelin songs, and we'll look at the top LZ tracks of all time. Until then, go support local music, and see a show. Buy a T-Shirt, or a CD for $10. All the money is going towards feeding them after the show, so its worth it.

Thanks,

Guthrie

Election 2K8

Let me preface this by stating that I am pro-Obama.

Now, that doesn't make me anti-Clinton, or even anti-McCain, I just happen to like Obama more. Perhaps he's the only candidate who is not a baby boomer. Or perhaps I just like to conform, and hopped on the Obama bandwagon like all the other youth. This is, in fact, untrue. I knew I'd vote for Obama after I saw him speak at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. Truth be told, I was watching that speech live. It was cool. And then of course I campaigned for him in Iowa (and I'd like to think I won the state for him). 

Point is, I think Obama is a good person. Good people should be president for a whole host of reasons. I mean, look at the new governor of New York! He is blind, and therefore is very very sensitive to those who have less ability to stand up for what they believe in. He'll be a great governor. So... Things have been "battled" out. 

And this is a big problem with me. The media. I mean, things were OK, and the US had decent media back when the news division didn't have to post a profit. Back when Walter Kronkite was dishing out the nightly news, the news divisions were more or less like public television. The companies who ran the news sponsered the news to go and be good, and then they could give good news. Well, as it turned out, people didn't want to see quality journalism, so they made the news departments churn out cash. So whenever a nipple pops out, or anything to grab an audience is flashed all up and down the news channels/newspapers, while higher quality news reporting is falling. 

Our savior? The Patron Saint of the Internet. Seriously, the fact that I can tell Fox and MSNBC to go shove it, and I can go online, and read news from the BBC makes my life. The BBC runs a 24 hour news broadcast in the UK. Guess what? No commercials.... Thats right! Public TV that is quality, and substantial. Of course the UK has a massive tabloid industry, but at least the OPPORTUNITY to watch some quality journalism exists.

So, how does this change election cycles? Well... The last primary was the Texas/Rhode Island. It isn't until far into April that the next Primary happens. So now what? The news stations NEED news, simply because they don't cover a host of international topics. The BBC has a 30 minute broadcast every 12 hours. The pack stories in, and they don't even have panels or commercials to talk about stuff. CNN doesn't cover half those stories, especially if it happens in a country where there are brown people. Regardless... 

The only news they have, is to massively blow up confrontations between Barack Obama, and Hillary. Yowza! So every mild mannered debate turns into some sort of primal boxing match from hell. Obama jabs, Hillary slashes and destroys. Its violent!  And of course the end result is the average voter getting turned off due to the negativity, and constant coverage. Its unhealthy for this democracy. 

But this election cycle is different! For the first time, my generation, this young generation, is turning out to vote in record numbers. Why? Because of Barack Obama. He won the University of Madison by a 75-25 margin. Facebook and Myspace agree... Young people flock to him. And he's gotten a LOT of voters who never would have voted, to come out and vote. And for the democratic party. This is a beautiful chance to change the debate from the issues of the aging baby boomers, and move it to a more relevant, and just as large generation. Medicare, and SS will suck the life out of the federal government in the next 20 years, and the younger people of this country should say, hey! "Politicians don't need to pay attention to old people, we vote too, pay attention to us! Give us money for college."

So as it stands, Obama has won more delegates, more votes, and more states. BUT of course, neither candidate can win. It will come down to some dark back room, filled with cigar smoking bureaucrats; hashing out the future of the country. Sad, but true. These "superdeligates" will choose the next democratic candidate. And what if Hillary wins? What if she has less delagates, less votes, and less states won, but yet, still gets the nomination? I think you are going to find young people leave her campain in droves. That is completly undemocratic. I personally won't vote for Hillary if she wins, not because I think she is a bad candidate, in fact, I think she'd make a fine president, BUT, I don't want to be a part of ANY party that undemocratically selects its candidates. There would be massive protests if Obama didn't win this nomination. I know I'll start a protest here in Madison, lol, insite a riot. For those of you who don't know, I want to be in a riot. It'd be fun. You could tell stories to your grandchildren. I mean, I don't want to get hurt/shot, or hurt anyone else, or start a riot, I just want to be in it. 

So Democratic Party!!! LISTEN TO ME! You will disenfranchise an entire wave of possible new and young democratic voters. If you elect the old candidate, you will disenfranchise all of them, and they won't support you when they get old. And you'll go the way of the Whig party. Watch out.

Thanks,

Guthrie

I blame Mrs. White in the Kitchen with the trans fats...

I’d like to preface this by stating that I am tired of mass produced cafeteria food.

Seriously – I was raised on whatever they called “food” was slopped out at my Public High School. Of course, my School was a K-12, and therefore I had the pleasure of enjoying cafeteria food since kindergarten. I strongly believe that my life is several years shorter because of it. Now, don’t get me wrong, the food was easily of better quality then food at other schools. And I would not want to put down the lovely ladies (yes, all females) who prepared our lunches every day for the past 12 years.

This problem does not have to with the “taste” of food. Any food can be accepted as tasting “good” by the body after time. I point to coffee and broccoli as prime examples. The problem is our food supply. Our eating habits. Our habits of raising food. Our use of chemicals that go above and beyond what is needed. Our dependence on antibiotics.

Let me show you the problem first. Fat asses. 

Yes, once reserved for only a few genetically unlucky, and the occasional lazy child, the number of clinically obese children has SKYROCKETED. I mean, we aren’t talking like a little rise, but a massive epidemic. Between the ages of 12-17, obesity has tripled from 5% in 1984 to 17.1% in 2002. Also between 7-11, that demographic has also doubled, from 7% to 15%. What’s worse is this isn’t even “overweight”, I won’t touch the societal problems of “fat” and what we see as our mental image of hot. That is a whole different picture. This is clinically obese, which is defined as 20% of your body weight composed of fat.

This is going to result in massive problems. Overweight people generally will have more heart attacks, get diabetes, so on and so forth. Aka, the more obese people are, they more EXPENSIVE they will become. This is what scares me. Right now, we have baby boomers retiring, and needing lots of expensive medical care, great! If anyone went to see David Walker, the Comptroller General of the United States, when he came to speak here in Madison (sponsored by the Distinguished Lecture Series Committee), he gave a great talk about how in twenty years, we will have to simply throw all the old people out on the street (not literally, but figuratively), because we have no way to pay for anything close to the cost of our current obligations to Medicare, and Social Security. This is a problem. So… Lets take skyrocketing medical costs, a massive generation of people getting old really fast… and a new generation rising up that will be more expensive then the last. My friends, we have a perfect storm.
Why lord? I ask you for answers! You created mankind, surely obesity was part of your grand master plan, we must overcome! I am waiting for this rhetoric from the religious right. Its coming, oh, trust me. Recently, apparently Christians have finally decided that we are keepers of this world… and therefore must be really eco-friendly? I’m not sure how that came about, but I will gladly embrace the religious right if they want to get on the eco-friendly-low CO2 emissions bandwagon. If they can suddenly become tree huggers, no doubt they will begin to condemn the destruction of “god’s temple” with junk food and watching TV.

HOWEVER! I must strongly state the stereotype for “fat people” just doesn’t match up with reality. Why are children really getting fat? Honestly, I think its easy for old people to blame it on the new “stupid generation” playing video games and eating junk food. That is ridiculously untrue. Have habits changed? Yes, they have and I shall entertain a few reasons why.

First, lack of funding for public schools. This one is pretty simple. Less money for schools mean they cut funding for Phy Ed. programs. Boom, now kids are sitting in class. What’s worse is that if high school athletics ever come around, these kids won’t join, and they never learn how to actually “work” out. It is impressive that children can actually grow up without learning to run.

Safety. 

Yes I said it! Children need DANGEROUS playground equipment. If you grew up, and never broke a bone, can you say you’ve really lived? Well, sure, cause you’re alive, but did you have any fun? Look, when I was a kid, the most fun things to do were the most blatantly dangerous. Kids nowadays are having to make completely safe things unsafe just to get around the fact that every time some kid breaks an arm they yank out ever one of the playground sets

 in the continental 48. That spider web thing where you could climb upside down while playing tag? Great! Of course thats gone… Tackle football on asphalt? Awesome (thanks Andrew

 for killing that fun as well). Children on the playground are horrible. They inflict pain for pleasure, pick on other kids, and more or less do the kinds of things that we would consider horrendous. But we has humans NEED that. It separates the strong from the weak. Here is the great part, the strong who get 

picked on, will rise from the chaos and be stronger people because of it. I know I personally benefited from getting shoved down a snowbank and kicked because I drew a Dallas Cowboy star on my face just because I wanted to rebel against “the norm” of everyone cheering for the Packers. That was in first grade. Of course, I was a rebel then, and I am now, its in my nature. But that taught me a lesson, and made me stronger. Kids are coddled way too much these days. Audiences applaud if they are talented or not, if they tried or not, if they care or not. Kids need to learn failure so they can come to hate it. I’m serious. Why should people somehow think that kids should be told “its not that bad” when they fail. You have to learn hate failure. Of course parents shouldn’t “punish” children for failing, but they shouldn’t reward them either. How about staying out of the fucking way? Let the kid mope around and figure out shit on their own? Forty Billion kids have figured out how to create DNA, replicate it, and transfer it to the opposite sex to create an entire new human being without the help of anyone. I think they can figure out how to solve a conflict as simple as playing football or kickball today.

Last, but defiantly not least is the quality of our food. We rely on antibiotics for everything we eat. Of course eventually a super virus will come around and kill us all, but thats just the maybes', or what ifs. There are real effects that will begin to compound. One is all the shit we pump into our bodies. The recent test of our water supply shows that all the pills we stuff into our bodies are staying in the water supply, which is why all the fish in lake Michigan are female. All the estrogen is swapping the genes. Solid…

Processed food stays around, its harder to digest, your body gets lazy. Autism is skyrocketing. Why? Who knows… As well as diabetes. You consume processed sugars, your body is simply not ready for that. Its not made to handle so many calories so quickly. And people need to touch some bacteria more often. I had strep throat for years. I got scarlet fever and almost died alright? It was living in my tonsils for years. Finally, I got them removed, and stopped being tested positive for it. But let me tell you, having streptococcus in your body for a few years makes your immune system KICK ASS. I haven’t been sick in years. Years. I wasn’t born with that, I was exposed to bacteria, and my body adapted. Don’t disinfect everything unless you really need it (like a baby, or the elderly). Eat some dirt. Its good for you.

And finally, something that gives me hope… Video games, like guitar hero. They are huge. Why? Because it requires you to STAND UP, to move around, to interact, to think, and be social. DDR or Wii boxing will make you sweat! That’s something to be happy about!

Ah! It is spring outside! So nice to walk out in the fresh air! Glorious! Soccer time now! Just remember you know what else happens in spring? People get horny. And just remember… Sex burns calories. Lets all lower the obesity rate! Have a Glorious day!


Thanks,
Guthrie

Creative Writing?

I’d like to preface this by stating that creative writing is a joke.

Yes. I said it. Let me also preface this by stating that I, despite my fluent writing style, whit, charm, humor, etc… am not an english major, and do not plan on becoming one. Hence, one must consider all of the following as “non-biased”, and perhaps even objective. Though, I would strongly suggest that anyone finding this objective NOT major in journalism, you obviously have no idea… wait… Perhaps there is a great job at Fox News, but be that as it may, I still think creative writing is a joke.

Not that I dislike it in any way-- I enjoy playing Miles Davis’s “Bitch Brew”, and letting the creative juices flow.  Reading a fun intriguing piece is scintillating, but what IS creative writing? I am not a man of details, or following step by step instructions. I prefer to not play by the rules, and instead I view the world in large broad concepts. This obviously works fine, and treats me well in something like say economics. Very Machiavellian, I know, its all about the ends, and to hell with the means, like following instructions.

So let me get this straight. You are supposed to write creatively, which, in my mind, means expressing yourself at the most basic level. Here you are, and here I am, and I’m trying to convey a message… and a point. I wish it was so easy! But there are all these… rules. Yes, rules, and preferences. If I were to be standing in front of you, and bitching about something or the other, my point is communicated even if speaking with mostly primal grunts, and awkward hand gestures. I'd like to make my case in point the "cavemen" of famous car commercials. Obviously if some primal human can save money on car insurance, one can explain what is on one's mind with slightly less clarity. Of course in writing, there are no cues to help you along. Like music, writing is "free". It just is. No one says that you have to play in 2-5-1 chord progressions, or play E7 chords until you die, but, everyone does.  Quite the same happens with writing. It is really a "free form" but preferences evolved.  So… over time, a series of rules, and “expected” grammatical jargon have evolved to “guide” mankind to some end.

My heart goes out to a Mr. Peter Hobbs, who wrote the book “The Short Day Dying” with virtually no punctuation. Bravo Mr. Peter Hobbs, see? That is TRUELY thinking outside the box. But most works like that are simply not excepted.

Lets peer into the future. Let us suppose that this blog takes off, and I write a series of best sellers, and become fabulously wealthy, marrying a blond model who is brilliant and plays in a rock band. I then have such a huge demand to pump out more volumes, that I dig into my past, and publish blog posts as… “Short Stories and Other Works -- An Anthology by Guthrie Weinschenk” (though in all reality, I’d change my John Hancock to Guthrie Miles). Well, don’t worry, this is just a shameless excuse to collect money by not actually doing any work. However, this entire paragraph would most likely be cut by some pen pusher at some publisher’s office. It is not needed, it is "poor writing", but it is how I talk. I write what I say in my head. Who are YOU to say that I "think" incorrectly? Why, its just preposterous! To say that I have written a sentence incorrectly is saying that I am a bad person, and my mental construct of communication is wrong. You might as well as be playing the race card... Bigot... 

That is what blows my mind. I dislike striking paragraphs of text out, because in my mind, writing is simply written oratory, and therefore it has to play by the rules of oratory. Mainly, if you call someone a “nagging cunt” you have to live with the consequences of your decision. It’s been said, and you can’t take that back. Conversely, you could write a 1000 page book about the “nagging cunt”, full of vicious remarks, and all you have to do is not save it and pull the plug of your computer. If you haven't frozen the RAM in your computer with an air can, or your computer doesn't have an autosave feature, or... Well, we'll just say that its gone. Here is the real question, was the outrage at the “bitching cunt” ever said? Did it exist just because it was never communicated? Very much the same question as “If a mime is in a forest, and a tree falls on the mime… does anyone care?” As one can tell, philosophy and writing obviously tie in with each other quite deeply.

This also brings to mind the story of a man who wrote a book, a full length book. He had just completed it, and had not shown anyone yet. He read his final draft, and loved it so much, he wanted to be the only person in the world to have the pleasure of reading it. He wanted to be special. So he burned the book, and all the copies. Where does the book exist? Only in his mind? Perhaps. A fond memory between two lovers lies only between the two of them, and yet that is a very real moment.

My point is, how can one “teach” writing, or an editor cross out phrases from a passage when the idea itself has very little to do with words, but in reality, it is all about emotion, and the connection between the communicator, and the communicatee. Even if the communicator and communcatee are just two people, and it is their shared memory. THEREFORE! When writing, I find it imperative that you follow the rules of oral speech when writing, instead of receiving a new rule-book. There are other fun differences between the two.

For example, when you talk, it is very hard to lie, you have to work to lie. Of course in writing, you have to work to tell the truth. It is much more work to site sources, interview "experts" and resist the urge just to sight wikipedia and call it a day (honestly, if I'm writing a paper on "my favorite band", I'm citing wikipedia and you can go screw yourself). Lying is easy when you write. People can’t say you are wrong because it is your perspective, and people are trustworthy. I could easily say that I have bright red hair and brown eyes. That is a lie. My hair is blond, and I have green eyes. But if I told you that I DID have brown eyes, and red hair, who are you to say I don’t? That is exactly the problem. You have a clear mental image of me now, and unless you’ve met be before, that mental construct will be forever engrained into your memory. In whatever form you form in your head, my blond hair and green eyes will create your mental image of me.

This is why it is so EASY to lie when you write. No one is double checking your facts. No doubt anyone who has ever met me knows quite well that I have brown curly hair, and blue eyes. Now those who have never seen my face before, you don’t know what to believe… I’ve shattered your trust. I am sorry about that.

That is why I am starting to blog, to regain your shattered trust. By the way... I am 6' 3", ripped out of my mind, with a face akin to Josh Hartnet, drop dead sexy, and have a wang that is in the upper 92nd percentile in size. I also am an indie rockstar, have lots of money, own a stake in Aries Maritime Transport Limited, and play classical violin.

Five of those are true. You get to guess. 

However, I still appreciate writing because it gives people pleasure and joy. And if one can give anyone pleasure or joy, especially for free, then the end is WELL worth the means, and I think the Machiavellian side in all of us can appreciate that.

Live well, eat well, sleep well, stay out of jail, find a new favorite band, favorite girl, favorite class, and book. Love life and pray that it’ll love you back.

Thanks,
Guthrie